"Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. Being brave means you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway."
"Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to."
"Why do you put your self esteem in the hands of complete strangers?"
Getting Through the Labyrinth
While cleaning up my files I stumbled upon this easy I wrote for med school last year. We were asked to write an essay on how we see ourselves ten years from now (now = undergrad 2nd semester). I’m now in my second year and I still feel the same about becoming a doctor. I’m putting it here to remind me why I’m pursuing this in the first place, the reason why I’m still holding on despite all the pressure and hard times I’m encountering and will eventually face.
I see myself in an operating room with my mask on, equipments in my hands and stitching incisions during operation. I can hear his breath and I count on his every inhales and exhales as his heart still beats. I have to help his man who I barely know and recognize extend his life. This patient can be a father to a child, a son to his parents, and a husband to his wife. It is my duty to keep this man alive for them, for the ones waiting outside. This is what I want to do ten years from now, prolonging and saving one person’s life. I’ve always felt responsible for what is going on around me and I think it will not be any different to the path I would like to choose. I will be held responsible to preserving a person’s life. As a doctor, I would want to touch many lives— be there during their pain and ease it, witness a life be born into this world, and see how their smiles lighten up their faces when I utter words of comfort and news. No matter how familiar or foreign the person is, nothing is more important than being a part of something devastating or more fulfilling in sharing a special event in their lives.
My entire life in medicine school and the remaining years after that would be a labyrinth that may be confusing and narrow and making my way through it is a challenge. This labyrinth
no matter how hard it may seem to reach the end will be fulfilling as long as I know that there is a purpose why I am in this labyrinth. My time spent finding my way would never be wasted because there is light at the end of it. Becoming a doctor and being of service to others is what I perceive God has commissioned me to do ten years from now. There may be courses where trying to figure out the case and cure for it will not be easy. I envision myself serving my fellow Filipinos in need of help, medicine, and treatment. I promised to myself that I would spend most of my life being in service of my country because she needs more medical healers from because if there is one thing that life taught me, it is that you can never go wrong when you do good to others. I envisage having a clinic of my own or be in a good hospital in the country. During my first few years of practice in medicine, I would save and invest for a clinic I would own. I believe and hope that I can cure many suffering patients when given a chance. I would either like to become a surgeon or specializing in infectious disease. Majoring in Microbiology, my interest in this field grew even more as I go through four years of fascinating courses of my program. Parasitology and Medical Bacteriology are courses I really enjoyed enrolling to and I would want to use what I’ve learned and even discover new things about these. Practicing medicine in my country and continuing to learn from the diseases occurring in every emergency room or ward is an exposure that can help me deepen my comprehension and provide me with enough
experience. Most rare and interesting cases are diverse here in our country that is why as a doctor specializing in infectious disease, our country is an opportune and favorable. I know my career would be shaky at first, many possibilities could happen that are out of my hands. Figuring out something I want to do with my life when I’m asked, is like having myself choose a note I would like to play for the rest of my life that I could only be able to do one thing. I’d spend a lot of time being anxious of which note to pick in a various qualities and different notes — but I think that’s not how life works. I will surely look for something I want to do with my life and I would like to do lots of different things and meet different people. I would like to widen my options because if there is one thing life has taught me, it is that decisions can be unmade by different
circumstances. I would like to be a doctor ten years from now but I also would like to run a business of my own. Ten years from now, I envision myself attending and giving talks in
seminars, somehow be in research, doing medical missions in different places in the country and then go home to my family. I would surround myself with people I trust because in the end
whatever I do will be nearly as interesting and important as whom I would do it with. Solving a puzzle or a maze would be easier with people whom you share the same passion with.
Ten years from now, I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a labyrinth without my own motivation. I also see myself having a family of my own living happily and in good faith in God. I would want to have children to take care of despite of how busy I will be. I would pay much attention to my parents and cope with the years I may not have spent so much time with them because I know this career I’ve chosen requires much attention and time. Ten years from now, I will go to different places, providing help to sick and weak patients who does not have money to pay for their medical check-ups and drugs. Ten years from now, I know I will be a changed person I hope in a positive way. Making it through the labyrinth requires a lot of choices, a lot of people to meet, a lot of sacrifices to make. Years from now, I would like to grow as a person with a good sense of myself, doing what I really love and living my dreams.
I’ve always dreamed of becoming a doctor and if I’ll tell the seven year old me that I am about to become one, she would be duly surprised, happy and ecstatic. I keep asking myself how I really perceive myself ten years from now and the most definite answer I can give to myself is to become a respectable licensed medical doctor if it is willed by God. I am looking forward to the labyrinth He has planned for me to walk through.